Is probably my "most asked" question. And my honest answer is: I like it better! So far, anyway. It's not that it's easier with two, but because they are my only full time job right now, I have enough time to manage everything. This will likely not be the case when I go back to work, and I expect my stress level to go up considerably for many reasons, but for the moment, things are good.
My day begins around 5:30 am, which is typically when Alex is waking up for the second time to eat. He is usually fussy afterwards, so he comes into our bed which seems to soothe him. Often times I prop myself up on pillows and he snores away on my chest. I close my eyes but never fall back asleep. Ashton's up around 7:30 am and we all come downstairs for breakfast and cartoons. After Jason leaves for work, by 9:30 am, I put together a plan for the day which includes either a morning adventure/activity or errands, lunch, naptime for Ashton from 2-4 pm, and then whichever we didn't do in the morning (activity or errands). Dinner is at 6:45 pm, tubby/stories at 7:30 pm and lights out (for Ashton) by 8:15 pm. My day ends around 10:30 pm which is when Alex officially goes to bed.
My main problem is when Ashton acts like the toddler he is ;) I feel like I do a lot more policing and a lot more yelling, unfortunately. "Ashton, you can't paint with the jelly!" "Ashton, stop throwing rocks at my head!" "Ashton, the back of the couch is not for climbing!" "Ashton, don't step on your brother!" What makes it worse is that my desperate pleas usually result in maniacal laughing and repetition of the behavior I've just condemned. Obviously. I think I would be running interference on just about everything at this age even if Alex were not here, but he does take some of my attention which Ashton is extra desperate to get back. Even if it's negative, which it often is. So, at the end of some days, I don't usually feel like Mom of the Year. But that's not entirely a byproduct of having two, that's just having a 2.75 year old boy (ha! today actually! Ashton is 2 and three quarters just today. Wow...).
But then I have moments when the stars align and both boys are sleeping at the same time (like right now, hence this blog post). I whirl around for an hour and get the laundry finished, emails written, dishes done, and toys picked up and in those moments I feel like I can do this "having two" thing. Keeping up the house and keeping things clean is important to me and if I am organized in that regard, I am much happier. As I said, when I go back to work and I don't have time for all the behind-the-scenes extras, it will be different. But for now, I can sum up by asserting that going from 1 to 2 kids is not the same challenge as going from 0 to 1. With the latter, you are learning how to care 24/7 for someone other than yourself, someone who is impossibly tiny, who can't tell you what they need and who deprives you of so much sleep you don't even know what day it is. You also struggle with the huge identity change of becoming "mom". With the former, you already know how to breastfeed, pack a diaper bag, the estimated time it will take you to leave the house and at precisely which intervals to have another coffee. It's a much smaller learning curve. You're also used to your life revolving around an "offspring" so adding another isn't a huge deal. In fact, I rather enjoy that I get a two-fer when I'm reading stories or going out to the park.
I have no idea if I answered the question that I initially named this post. Basically, it's great to have two little boys. I couldn't imagine loving another one like I love Ashton but Alex is so calm and easy (two words I would NOT use to describe Ashton haha) that I sometimes think I love him more. Don't tell Ashton he has competition on this blog ;)
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