Alex's 7th Birthday - Part 2

Frankly, I don't even know how to begin describing Alex. And it's super funny because I looked up last year's post about what makes the boy and not a lot has changed. I even started that one the same way! Every year that passes he defies explanation a little more haha. He's very smart, cocky and loves attention. He can be a complete PITA, namely because of his aforementioned intelligence. But he's also sweet and very popular. We joke about his fan club - everybody knows him. He is a leader but also the first to high-five friends and teammates for a good game or performance of some kind. Alex laughs a lot - he is a goofball, the life of the party and the dynamic usually looks something like this:

Alex works his best magic on adults, talking and interacting with them by making jokes, telling stories, being sarcastic and a bit of a trickster. At Dick's the other day, he spent a good twenty minutes posing next to the mannequin just to see peoples' reactions.

And he just pulls things out, like blowing soap bubbles through his fingers, claiming he has "duh, always known how and does it all the time" which is like, totally untrue. Wha?

People are constantly laughing at what he says or his mannerisms, like "who is this kid?" and love to tell me all about it. Once he got asked how his trip to the dentist was, and he said "Psssh. It was GREAT. My teeth are so white they make milk jealous." 

Recently at the grocery store, an elderly gentleman came up to me and said, "Are those your sons?" and I said yes. He said "You'll never believe it, I winked at him and guess what he did?" I knew he was talking about Alex and I said "Let me guess, it was this one and he winked back." And the man chuckled, totally delighted by it, and said "YES!". How many times do I find myself smiling, nodding and sighing in response, like, "Mmm hmm, that's Alex." A lot, that's how many. He is a character all his own and frequently a topic of conversation.

I have no stats because his well-visits are now completely off schedule due to COVID, but you might be Alex if:

* Your lovey is STILL Pluto. You think he is "the perfect fit".

But when friends come over, you put him away in a drawer because you don't think he needs to be out ;)

* People touch your hair a lot. 

* You are often heard saying: "Dang it." Alex can be very "Calvin" and tries to get away with things. "Dang it" often follows.

* How your day goes is either a) the best ever or b) the worst you've seen in your lifetime and your mom is scared to find out which. Because if it's b, look out. You can be quite QUITE grumpy.

* You watch other kids your age do things and say "aw, that's cute". 

* The book you write at school is called "How to Annoy Your Mom". It includes leaving all your laundry inside out and not using a towel after washing your hands so water drips all over. There are lots of pages.  

* It's a big worry of yours that your front teeth are not the same length. Will they ever be? Will they?

* You regularly play football or lacrosse with 11 and 12 year olds. And win.

* You regularly play chess against adults. And win. 

* Games are very serious business and you are compelled to supervise, scrutinize and offer advice to others on what their moves should be. And people listen because dammit, you're actually right.

* No matter what you do, you think it's awesome and you will nod at yourself as you describe it to others. Your self-approval is high.

(Editor's note: the reflection of the deck flower pots in Alex's glasses look like his eyeballs LOL - anyone see that? Just me?)

* Like always, you leave selfies and videos on phones and iPads, specifically addressing your "fans" and you know, just checking in with them. I'd link to a video on YouTube but it's so obnoxious that I simply must spare you.

* There's nothing quite as exciting as Dairy Queen and your usual is vanilla with strawberry topping.

* You are persistent. You will whine and needle and complain and blackmail and push and bellyache and flop around and bribe and pout and push and push and push once you get it into your head that need something. This week it was a loom because you are learning about weaving in school. You had to have a loom. It was necessary. A square one with plenty of colors. For the love of all that is holy, you would not stop talking about it and I put myself out of my misery and took you to Michael's already.

* St Christopher protects you - you wear his charm on your necklace. But the first day you had it, you got checked in hockey pretty badly and had to sit out the rest of practice. You were quite exasperated about it when you got picked up - "This stupid thing, it doesn't even work!". But you still wear it.

* Socks are a big struggle.

* Your chore chart is empty. You have literally no chores as you've decided the money isn't worth it.  

* Despite being a bit prickly lately, hugs are your favorite.

* The blog post your mom tries to write about you doesn't even do you justice. Per usual I never write down all the funny quips and forget them, but I'll leave you with this last illustrative story.

Jason, at lunchtime: "Who wants a Diet Coke?"
Alex: "Me."
Jason: "Yeah well, no one asked you."
Alex: "I asked myself, and I said yes."

And if you are Alex, that's just all there is to it.