02 June 2012

Pardon the interruption

Excuse me. You can add "hacked into my mom's blogger account" to my list of sins but I have had it. HAD IT. Now, just because I am the family dog (Tate, as if I have to introduce myself) DOES NOT MEAN that I will tolerate such outward disrespect. In the past however many months since the worst day of my life (August 3rd, 2011), I have put up with a lot. A certain someone's tiny little fist just loooooves to grab my fur and pull. And thinks my ears are funny. And finds my tail irresistible. I usually politely leave the room whenever he is around because things usually just don't end well for me. But this time, THIS TIME, I am taking action. My most precious possession, the vehicle for my happiest times...well, it's been desecrated. Fallen into the hands of the enemy. My mom and dad told me I was crazy. "Tate," they said, "Ashton has so many toys, why would he be interested in your food bowl?" I kept insisting that he was, he WAS! And they didn't believe me when I described how, when he managed to get ahold of it, he would [gasp] grab it, shake it, spin it...almost unmentionable acts of cruelty. He just wouldn't leave it alone. See? He's just waiting for me to finish.

Like a predator stalking its prey. But what did my mom and dad do? They sent me to therapy. Here is the drawing that resulted from the "When Ashton took your food bowl, how did that make you feel?" question:

I began to think I deserved this. I have gotten my toys mixed up with his and maybe I have licked spit up from the floor. Does that make me bad? On the flip side, I have endured the noxious fumes coming from the Diaper Genie for ten months! Can no one else smell that? That deserves a medal all on its own, living with that thing. My sacrifices have gone completely unnoticed.

But today, I finally got the footage I have been waiting for. Proof that he goes after it. In a sneak attack, he goes after MY food bowl! Just watch!

What you can't see, because I had to stop taping and avert my eyes, is that he leaves my food bowl and goes after my water dish. My water dish, resting so innocently nearby. That was just a massacre. May it rest in peace.

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