29 December 2011

Two amazing things

Last night, for the first time in 5 months, I cooked dinner. I mean, REALLY cooked: made a list, went to the store, bought my ingredients, prepped my mise en place, etc etc. Jason was not due home until 6 so I put Ashton in the bjorn (facing out now of course so he could see) and he watched me chop my peppers, mince my garlic, etc. I was so excited about my dinner that I had already planned to title my blog post something like: "Behold! Chicken Cacciatore!" with a glamour shot of my beautiful meal but in all my excitement I actually, uh, forgot to take a picture of it. Regardless, it came out great. All of the real cooking took place after Ashton went to bed and after Jason came home but I still did it all by myself (mmmm, 95% of it by myself, I have to give Ashton sous chef credit where sous chef credit is due! :) You may recall his previous experience helping Jason with breakfast several posts ago. Also Jason did cook the pasta now that I think about it, so, 90% by myself).
Anyway! I have made a few things here and there but nothing so complete as last night. I felt really good and Jason took my picture to mark the occasion:

See what my apron says? IRON CHEF, that's right. 
So my chicken cacciatore is amazing thing #1. Amazing thing #2 is that I got the iPhone 4S today, wow! Is it cool. I am used to getting Jason's hand-me-down phones so this is a big deal. I love it. 

Good news is now over. Tonight is night #2 of our cry-it-out strategy with Ashton. He has been waking too many times at night and I just simply can't go on like this. He needs to learn how to put himself back to sleep. Although it takes about 10 minutes total for me to hear a peep on the monitor, go in, pick him up, let him essentially comfort nurse back to sleep and then put him back in his crib, it has to stop because I'm exhausted. Getting up 4 times a night is beyond draining- when you're pregnant people joke about the sleep deprivation but it is real and it truly affects my wellbeing. Now that Ashton is 5 months, I am fairly certain he is not waking because he is hungry, it's time. I'm dreading tonight - last night he woke up at 1 am and cried for an hour, and then again at 5 am - at that time I went in to feed him as I felt 11 hours was enough time to go without eating. But that was good, usually he is up twice before the 5 am one so I'm praying I don't have to sit through two bouts of wailing tonight. As awful as it is to hear him cry, it is more awful to imagine him not sleeping through the night for months to come, so I have to remember that this is for the best/tough love/etc. So tonight when I put him down and shut the door at 6:30 pm, I resolved not to go back in until 5 am as long as he was crying but otherwise okay.  I never thought hearing my baby cry would be so gutwrenching. Last night when he cried, I cried. All I wanted to do was scoop him up and rock him and tell him everything was okay. My plan for his first wakeup is to focus my energy on my new iPhone and learning Siri...

Okay I'm stalling. I have to sign off, put on my pajamas and go to bed. Wish me luck.

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