23 April 2012

An Interview

So, it rained today. Which means that come 4:00 pm, Ashton and I were not on our usual pleasant stroll around Fresh Pond. No, we weren't. We were sitting in the living room staring at each other. We read all of his stories (which does not take long: his little board books are a whopping five pages each with about ten words total: "One, two. Socks!" and the like), we played with all the toys he is interested in these days, and we sang the songs that make him smile. So there we were: 4:00 pm and still two hours to go until bedtime. I decided to take advantage of his recent chattiness (see video from previous post) and interview him on how things are going so far.

Kristen Nill: So, Ashton, how did you sleep last night?

Ashton Christopher: Hi Mom, thanks for asking. I slept great! I went to bed at 6:20 pm, woke up at 3:09 am and fussed for awhile, but you knew I was faking so I went back to sleep when you didn't come in. I woke up again at 5:15 am, thanks for feeding me I was hungry. Then I went back to sleep until 8:30 am! I have to say, since my 8 month birthday I've really hit my groove.

KN: Did you have any dreams?

AC: Yes, I often have dreams. They are mostly about milk and snacks. Of course, these things are the topics of my nightmares as well. I once dreamed that there was no more milk and I cried and cried. It was awful.

KN: Gosh, that sounds awful. Any other challenges you have faced?

AC: You know, if I'm being honest, a few. First, the sippy cup. I just...well, I just don't get it. Second, Tate's utter refusal to accept my friendship. The only thing he cares about is the dropped Cheerio count from my highchair. Makes me feel used. Yes, I did pull his tail once, and also his ears, but my hands are so small I have a hard time believing it hurt. I hope to one day have a better relationship with him. Lastly, yogurt. [Shudder.] That stuff is just wretched.

KN: I'll talk to Tate. Treats are key. I would give you some to offer him but I'm afraid you would eat them yourself.

AC: I probably would.

KN: On to more happy things. What do you enjoy doing in your spare time?

AC: I like to smile at inanimate, insignificant objects. For example, a water bottle. Or a piece of string. Lately I find humor in regular, everyday things that end up in my hands; I can't help but smile at them and then shake them ferociously to see if they rattle.

KN: I have noticed this. By now, have you learned that things like your sock, a ballpoint pen, and a cucumber stick don't make noise?

AC: Not really. I'll probably have to shake everything I get my hands on for awhile longer. Either that or taste it.

KN: Speaking of learning, how's the crawling going?

AC: [silence]

KN: Sorry honey, bad question. I know you don't crawl yet. [Awkward pause.] You know baby, physical development is only part of the equation! You are so smart in so many other ways. What is your dream job?

AC: I mean obviously, if the guys at eTrade called, I'd be on the first flight.

KN: I thought the ultimate goal for babies was to work for Gerber?

AC: [rolling his eyes] Mom, you are out to lunch. Gerber is so last century. You don't even feed me Gerber! You feed me Earth's Best Organics!

KN: Ashton! You better not tell your father that. He thinks I use my very expensive baby food maker from Williams-Sonoma!

AC: Okay okay I won't tell him. But only if you try to find out how I can work for eTrade. Their commercials are a riot.

KN: I'll look into it. Wow, eTrade. You really are wise beyond your months.


  1. omg, i love you. hilarious. And in that video, sometimes it sounds like he is saying "momma" :)

  2. Kristen
    You have too much time on hands. No, seriously it was a good interview