25 January 2016


Ahhhhh Ashton. Our curious, enthusiastic 4 year old who talks ALL.THE.TIME. I mean I get it, I'm a blogger, there is lots to say! But lately he's been a treasure trove of gems. Perhaps Jason and I are the only ones who would consider them to be priceless, but I'll share some of the latest and greatest and you can be the judge.

Overheard saying to Jason: "When I grow up, I can be a daddy. And when you grow down, you can be a boy."

After loudly clearing his throat, he announced "Don't worry! I'm just starting my engine."

Ashton's big boy bed is the worst thing to ever happen to me, even 1.5 years later. I put him to bed and on average, I have to re-tuck him back in 1-3 times before it sticks.
Me: "Ok, it's really time to fall asleep!"
Ashton: "But Mommy, it's so hard to close my eyes, they just want to pop back open!"

While we are on him getting out of bed, here are a few of the reasons he is up in the middle of the night and comes in to our room:
- He would like more pizza.
- His knee feels sharp.
- Could I please share the details of his next birthday party and when is it?
- He can't find his pillow (even though, it was right there).
- His ______ [insert any body part] is itchy.
- There's a hole in his tongue.
- If he were to go fishing, is it easy to catch a killer whale? Would it eat him? No? They just like fish? Why are they called killers then?
- He picked a scab off his knuckle and wanted to ask me why he did that.
- His blankets are out of order.
- He has a hangnail.
- There was some concern about bad seagulls flying around.
- He wasn't sure where he had left Lightning McQueen.
- Someone is going "tap tap tap" on his head.
- Someone is whispering Asssshhhhttttooonnnnnn.

Now admittedly, those last two...

Kids have active imaginations but can also say downright creepy things. Seriously, google "creepy things kids say" and there are LOTS of results. Actually I'll save you the trouble. Try this, this and this. I had a hard time falling back asleep after those particular claims.

Also, just last night: I had tucked Ashton into bed after going through the usual routine of shutting his closet doors, checking under the bed, assuring him the windows were locked, etc. (he is insistent every night that I make sure no one comes into his room). Everything was nice and neat, I kissed him goodnight and went downstairs.
Five minutes later, he was up and fetching me. He said, "I have to show you something." And led me back to his dark room, where the closet doors were wide open and the pile of books that had been on the side table were strewn across the floor. He proceeded to tell me, in between gasps for air and stutters, how something came out of the closet and knocked all of his books everywhere! He was so upset, waving his arms all around, so I clarified: "Something came out of your closet and did this?" And he said "YES! I was just lying in my bed Mommy!" "Really?" "YES!" My blood ran cold, I am not even kidding. There was a significant moment of silence. I looked at him again and said, "You're kidding Ashton. Really?"
And his expression completely changed and a wide grin spread across his face.

"No, Mommy, not really. I did it."

I nearly had a heart attack. 

After school one day he said, "Hey Mommy, I love myself just the way I am." I said "Well that's great honey. I love you just the way you are too!" And then he said, "Yeah, I learned that at yoga today. Mommy, you know what, you can just say that to yourself sometimes when you are driving in the car! Practice right now! Say: 'I love myself just the way I am.'" And I did and he told me he was proud of me. He then randomly repeated it at dinner and in the bathtub. That's some strong pre-k yoga going on.

Looking through the photo album of our wedding: "These pictures are beautiful. Where is me? I don't see me."
"Well, you were not born yet."
"So? I want to be in these pictures! How do you get in them?"

After having a bad dream: "I don't like thinking when I sleep!"

"Did you know that when grapes die they become raisins? Yep they do! That's what happens."

He needed to use the nebulizer (which we call a tube), which is a mask over his mouth. "I can't do a tube because I am having a snack and I need my face to eat."

"Mommy I'm not a baby like Alex. I don't poop in diapers anymore because I'm a BIG boy. Yeah, I growed up."

"I found a skeleton head!" (He meant a skull - and it wasn't, but I played along.)

"Mommy I love you, to the top of daddy's head! No no, to the top of a TOWER!"
"Wow. Well I love you to the moon!"
"Ooooo! Thanks!! But I love you to the SUN! AND to the top of the sky!"

"I have lots of kisses and they are all for you."

"What are you going to do with those boobs Mommy?"
"Uh, what do you mean?"
"I mean, why do you still have them when you don't have a baby?"

Overall, Ashton can be a very sweet big brother. He can also be a very mean one - he has secret toy stashes that he guards fiercely and, in the presence of his father, will do just about anything to "win". Doesn't it look like he is doing a victory dance? Congrats Ashton, it's super hard to steal a football from a 22 month old. Sigh. Never a dull moment!

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