But even with a routine, things happen. I thought I'd share some examples of what I experience in our day-to-day.
1) Extreme dissatisfaction at meal time.
I had made Ashton one of my better dinners and he wailed and wailed because it didn't include crackers. At first I said, "No way, no crackers." I actually took him out of his high chair several times to show him that what he had on his tray was all he was getting, and if he didn't want it, well then, no dinner. The wailing continued. So then I said, "Ok, first chicken, THEN crackers." Nope, more wailing. Finally I gave him the damned things. Five mini-saltines to be precise, which he did not even eat! He stacked them in a little pile then happily ate his entire dinner and was all done. WTF I ask you. W. T. F.
By the way, despite being 3 in two months, the highchair is still necessary at dinnertime. Otherwise it would be like trying to feed a mexican jumping bean.
2) We recently walked the Fresh Pond loop and it was Fresh Pond Day, an annual event with all kinds of vendors and one table was offering books for kids. No catch. I didn't even have to write my name on a mailing list. Just, pick a book, any book, and it's yours! Understandably, I was wary. There's no such thing as a free lunch or haven't you heard.
Anyway, Ashton chose "The Cow That Went OINK." As are most new things, the book was the prized possession-du-jour that he carried around for the rest of the day. But as I was filling up his tub that night, I quickly went to change Alex, came back, and:
From prized to disgraced in seconds. THIS COULD HAPPEN TO YOU. Toddlers are dangerous and unpredictable.
So sorry, Cow That Went OINK. Easy come, easy go.
3) Who eats a banana like this?
Jason offered Ashton a bite during a recent car ride and this is what he got back. After several minutes.
4) Things like this cause a frenzy.
"LOOK MOMMY! Look at this one! It's big! They stuck Mommy, they STUCK! Look at this fish Mommy! LOOK! Why is it like this Mommy? Why? It's ok? It's ok Mommy? LOOK!"
In all fairness, I had never seen three stuck together either. But I could hardly calm him down and he never ate it.
5) If there was ever a key word in Ashton's life, it is "BIG". He's obsessed with big things (or, big in a relative sense, like he'll pick the bigger grape over the smaller one and then loudly announce he has the big one). I put this to use as follows.
Me: Ashton, eat your sandwich.
Ashton: NO!
Me: Ashton, eat your BIIIIIG sandwich!
Ashton: Okay! [takes bite]
Basically, you can sell him on anything you advertise as being big. It's that simple.
You know, I'm realizing that with the exception of the Cow That Went OINK, this entire post has been about food. It makes sense I guess, the kid never stops snacking.
6) If there was ever a key concept in Ashton's life, it is getting a "special treat" - a new snack or small toy. He'll do most anything with the promise of a reward afterwards (a strategy I've had to start to employ given his demonic tendencies of late). If you're thinking, "This sounds like bribery!", duh, it is. I want to change the bomb of a diaper he has on? I assure him that if he lets me do this without kicking me in the face (true story), he can have a special treat. If I need to get him in the car, put new clothes on, etc? Special treat. It worked for awhile and things in toddlerland were peaceful. But then I used it too much and was running out of things to give him that he considered worthy. Nothing like your special treat getting rejected for not being special. But now, he just runs around demanding a special treat for no reason. "I want special treat Mommy! I WANT SPECIAL TREAT! Where's my special treat??" So after temporary success, I've now added this to my list of parenting backfires. Bribery will get you nowhere.
So it goes on like this. Sometimes things are funny, sometimes they are not. Where is Alex by the way? Oh yeah, he's quiet as a mouse just looking around or sleeping in his carseat like a little angel.
He doesn't give me nearly as much blog material. Yet ;)
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