Ashton-speak

Now that Ashton is a little chatterbox, there are lots of funny things that come out of his mouth. Perhaps my favorite of all time was actually last fall, when his speech was really just starting to pick up. I had a friend over for dinner and we were having salads. I pointed to the bowl and said, "Ashton, what is Mommy eating?" and after a brief pause, he answered: "Leaves!"

I will never forget that. Just one of those unexpected responses that give you a glimpse into how small children see and understand the world. I mean technically, he was correct. I was having leaves for dinner. But who says that? Toddlers, that's who.

And then just yesterday, Ashton threw a fit because he had a small cut on his finger and he wanted me to get it off. He was very agitated, holding up his hand and waving it around. "Get it OFF, Mommy, GET IT OFF!!" I actually didn't know what to do. My response ended up being "Uhhhh, ummm...well the best thing to do for ouchies isn't to take them off, it's to get a band-aid. How about a band-aid?" And that worked. Sometimes he really sticks it to me and I'm not sure how to explain things.

The questions are constant and I often pull answers out of my you-know-what. For example, we have some road work going on in front of our house this week due to a pipe replacement. Of course, to a toddler who plays with miniature construction trucks and vehicles all day, this is Christmas. BETTER than Christmas. It's Christmas on the moon after a rocket has taken you there and given you unlimited fruit snacks on the way.

So when the crew is done for the day they leave all their big excavators and equipment parked nearby. Ashton notices. "But why aren't they working right now Mommy? Where is the dump truck? It's not here but excavator is here. Why? Where is it? Where it go?"

Ahem. In case you were wondering, the answer is that all the machines are very tired from working all day and they are sleeping. Dump truck is much faster than the others so it has gone home but it will be back tomorrow. Dump trucks like to sleep in their own beds because they snore and don't want to wake everyone else up.

There were no more questions after that so I took a little bow. Mentally of course. I swear, some of the conversations I find myself in...

Anyway, there are several little Ashtonisms that show up on a pretty consistent basis:

Alex "spits out" instead of "spits up". "The baby spit out, Mommy! He spit OUT!"

While we are on the baby, it is his. He refers to Alex as "my baby" which I think is pretty typical of other kids his age. Like:
"Where's my baby?"
"I go see my baby now?"
"My baby is hung-gee!" (hungry)

He loves to put things in the middle of the floor and announce he is having a picnic.

Instead of "I don't know", he says "I can't know, Mommy, I can't know."

"I'm so cozy!" When he is really happy

He calls toothpaste "soap". We brush our teeth together and he watches me spit bubbles into the sink and says, "I can't spit, I need the soap! Gimme soap Mommy!"

"I'm almost Scott!" = I almost forgot.

We put things on the fridge with "maggots".

"shock kick kops" = his "shark flip flops". He had to repeat this like five times at first before I understood what he was saying. When I got it I said, "Ohhh, yes your shark flip flops!" and he smiled and said, "Yeahhhh, Mommy knows."

When there are two similar things, they are "two sames".

Quite randomly, he will sing/shout, "I'm super hero! Super Paci Mannnnn!"

Pajamas are "jamas"

When he refers to his Crocs, he leaves out the letter "r" (I'll let you do the math on that one)

And probably most bizarrely, Vaseline is "mac and cheese lotion". ??

There are so many others that I'm failing to document right now :-/ More than just his vocabulary though is the simple back and forth every day. I actually have someone to (sort of) talk to!

Me: "Want to give the baby a bath today?"
Ashton: "Yeah! He has lots of dirt Mommy, lots of dirt."

I recently bought this book and every night during Ashton's dinnertime I ask him the question of the day. It's pretty funny and I can't wait to see how his answers evolve. Right now things aren't too deep, I'll leave you with some samples.

Question: What drives you crazy, and why?
Ashton: Ummm, my cars!

Question: Are you loud, quiet, or in between?
Ashton: (laughs)
Me: Ok I'll help you. Are you loud?
Ashton: Umm, I don't know.
Me: Well, are you quiet?
Ashton: NO! I'm not quiet! ROAAAAAARRRRRR!!!

Question: What's the best movie you've seen lately?
Ashton: Fish.

Question: What is your dream job?
Ashton: Naptime.

Can't argue with that ;)