That other shoe?

It dropped yesterday. My whole plan for the day went completely out the window when, about 15 minutes after we woke up, I realized Ashton had a nasty, nasty cold. He was wheezing, hacking and coughing and I just knew I could not send him to Christine's. He made it through his EI evaluation and he did not qualify! Which is, overall, great news - he has made so much progress and all his skills now fall within the normal range. But bittersweet because Fran and Allison have become part of our weekly routine on Wednesday and Thursday mornings. They will each come one or two more times and that will be it :-/

Anyway, Jason left for work and I had resigned to spend another day inside playing trains with my boys as it was freezing out and Ashton was sick. But by 2 pm, Ashton was having a lot of trouble breathing and, long story short, we ended up spending two hours at the pediatrician. It was my first time out alone with both boys and let's just say, I cried the whole way home. We were a collective disaster, I was that mom in my sweats that could not take care of both of her kids at the same time. Ashton himself would have been a lot to handle - he missed his nap, had two nebulizer treatments and ultimately a dose of steroids and we were confined to a little exam room for two hours (the albuterol in the nebulizer is a stimulant for "some kids". Ashton most definitely is a member of that group.). Alex needed to be fed, thank goodness I had brought a bottle, because as I was feeding him Ashton took off down the hall and had I been nursing, I would have had to tear after him through the waiting room with my shirt open and the baby hanging on for dear life. One of those days.

So today we were home again because Ashton is still recovering and again, just no place to go in this cold weather. He's doing much better and to his credit, despite being sick, still plays at the same level. I had to change Alex so I left him playing nicely with his rice box on the blanket:

Of course, two minutes later I came back downstairs:

Rice.was.everywhere. But I didn't even care, the room needed to be vacuumed anyway. 

Then we rocked some shades for a while.

 And the rest of the day was the usual - duplos, books, Bubble Guppies on Nick Jr. We are definitely in our groove but the whole "not leaving the house" thing? Starting to feel it. Yyyyyep, starting to feel it.

I've gotten some questions about if we are sleeping, how the breastfeeding is going, etc. And the quick answers are: Alex sleeps in our room in the Fisher Price Rock N Play Sleeper (best thing ever) next to our bed on my side. He usually eats around 10:45 pm and then we go to bed. He's up around 2 am for 30-45 minutes to eat and be changed and then again around 5:30 am for another feeding. He still needs to eat every three hours and it comes around quickly let me tell you, especially considering it's 3 hours from the start of one feeding to the start of the next. I find he wakes pretty consistently and I don't have to set an alarm or anything. He's up for the day around 8. Luckily we have had no problems nursing but I really should pump so Jason can take one of the middle of the night feedings. What have I been doing? I should get on that.

Tomorrow Ashton has a followup at the pediatrician, my mom and sister come for a weekend visit, and we round out our second week as a family of four. Ashton's asleep and this is my view right now:

Not bad :) Sorry to everyone that I owe emails to and thanks for your patience!!

Turns out...

When you don't really leave the house, not a lot happens. And when not a lot happens, you have next to no new blog material. We've been pretty cozy around here, spending most of our days in pajamas long past breakfast, playing with toys, reading books, and napping. It's just too cold to be outside and I find myself not feeling the need to really go anywhere anyway. Which, for those who know me, is shocking. I don't "stay home" very well usually but I've been oddly content for the past week. Things usually look like this:

Yesterday I put the baby on his blanket and Ashton laid down for "tummy time" too.

Alex sleeps a lot.

Other things that have happened this past week are: Grandma and Grandpa visited, Poppy and Mema visited, we went for our first walk, and Ashton coughed right in Alex's face. If that doesn't say brotherly love, I don't know what does.

But this week we have some things going on for a change! This morning I left Alex with Jason (and his first bottles thanks to my new pump!) and got to take Ashton to his weekly class that Chera always brings him to with Owen. It was so cute to see all these two year olds sing, play, do artwork and sit together for story time. Ashton's been going to this class through EI for months and this was my first time. When we walked in the door, he yelled, "My MOMMY'S here! My MOMMY's here!" and I was so happy I thought my heart would burst. Speaking of EI, Ashton's evaluation is tomorrow morning. It's a 90 minute test and we are all pretty sure he will pass, which means he won't qualify for EI or speech anymore. Certainly bittersweet but we will see what happens. A big day for sure. Today I was finishing up a clementine and Ashton said, "Mommy is all done eating that orange," and then pointed to the peel and said, "And that is all for the trash." I just couldn't believe it. Sentences like that were nonexistent even a couple of months ago and he has come such a long way.

And Alex has come a long way too! We had our one week pediatrician appointment this afternoon. He weighed 7 lbs 3 oz at birth and then two days later (last Tuesday) he had hit 6 lbs 11 oz. So I was anxious to see what the scale said after nursing him what seems to be nonstop sometimes! Well, 7 lbs 9 oz :) Almost a pound in one week! For the second time today, I was so happy and proud. My two boys are doing great :)

Tomorrow after Ashton's evaluation, he is off to Christine's and I'm going to try and get some errands done with the baby in tow. Time to venture out! And then Friday my mom and my sister come for the weekend, I can't wait.

I'll leave you with Alex's one week (well, 8 days) old picture. It's so hard to tell how tiny he is from the pictures but obviously he is super, super cute ;) xox

When Alex was a bump

So I'm getting around to posting this a whole lot sooner than I did with Ashton. One thing I wanted to do differently this time was try to stay in the same outfit. I otherwise completely neglected my appearance as you'll clearly see. Most of these were taken at night, sans makeup and after shower, etc. Jason's not the most exact photographer and while some look a little out of order, this is the best I've got. They were taken starting somewhere around 17/18 weeks I think and from there, whenever we remembered...

I know this is another quick post, newborn and toddler are both asleep and I'm trying to squeeze in as much as I can on my "break"! 

Pictures

I won't really have a super huge amount of time to blog for awhile :-/ But I'm going to try and stick with it consistently even if I just put up a few pictures every few days. It's funny, some of the ones below were taken a couple days ago but I already consider them "old"!

Here are a few of my favorites since Alex was born. I realize he is wearing the exact same thing in each picture but I swear I change him. I just do laundry twice a day because he doesn't have much that fits him :-/

With Daddy:

 Huge feet! This angle does amplify the size though, haha. When you weigh 7 pounds, "huge" is a relative term.

Hanging with his older brother:

Ashton always asks to hold the baby - he is getting pretty good at it although I still hold my breath because I'm afraid he doesn't quite understand what "gentle" means.

Ashton also likes to pretend that HE is the baby - sits in the bouncy seat with a blanket over him and a paci. Haha,

So that's where we are at! He sleeps a lot and has been doing great at night, waking up to eat and then goes right back to sleep. Knock on wood! We went to the pediatrician on Tuesday and he was down to 6 lbs 11 oz, but that's still within the normal range of weight loss for a newborn. Everything else looks great, we go back again on Tuesday. 

In other news, my new breast pump comes today, I am sick with excitement because once I start to pump, I am freeeeee!! Haha not really, but at least someone else can feed him! It's also not too early to be thinking about building up a supply for going back to work, but I can barely get that thought to cross through my brain at this point. It's unfathomable. So for now, I'm just going to enjoy the next few months with my boys and go from there. 

Those are the main details after 4 days at home - Alex is up from his nap which means, gotta go! xo

Alex's Birth Story

So Alex was born super early Sunday morning and we came home on Monday! Jason, Ashton, Alex and I rolled in just in time for lunch and Ashton's nap and things felt almost like they had any other day - minus our new little addition! We have been doing great the past couple of days, Ashton definitely has some adjusting to do and has been giving me a run for my money, but I'm reminding myself that bringing Alex home was no small change, for any of us.

Speaking of bringing Alex home, I thought I'd share the story of how he came into this world. I apologize in advance, there is just no way to make this sound good. So here we go.

Saturday, March 15th - full moon. Around 6 pm I just felt...different. I was three days past my due date at this point and knew things could start at any time, and had a feeling something was stirring. But I managed to eat dinner, Jason and I had our umpteenth conversation about what we would name the baby if it were a boy, and I went to bed.

Sunday, March 16th, 1:45 am - A very intense contraction woke me up. Not long after, another followed. I quickly started to time them and thought to myself, did these seriously start at 2 minutes apart?? Like, not 20, not 15...TWO. And they were getting stronger.

2:05 am - I wake up Jason and tell him, ummm, this is happening. I think. 

2:10 am - Jason calls Berg and Karen. We had told them a few hours earlier to keep their phone volumes up- they were our on-call friends to come over, sleep and be here in the morning when Ashton woke up. They said they were on their way and I changed, started to get ready to go, etc. The contractions were so strong a few of them doubled me over.

2:40 am - Berg and Karen arrive and we are out the door to the hospital. I had told them we were coming. The entire car ride, my contractions are still 2 minutes apart, lasting about a minute each, and it's like an onslaught of the most intense pain that I do not ever get a break from. Little did I know, I never would. When I could get a breath out during them, I think I basically just kept swearing. 

2:50 am - we arrive at Newton-Wellesley Emergency Room. We do check in and the nurse walks us up to maternity. I have to stop several times due to the contractions, which basically make your whole body tighten up, it's like someone is wrenching your insides into a clamp and you just want to explode. They, uh, really hurt.

3:00 am - I'm in the antenatal room, my contractions are even quicker and it's to the point where my breaks from the pain are less than 45 seconds. I am 5 cm, in active labor, and things are progressing so fast that they are unsuccessful in getting an IV in. I think I freaked the poor girl out. Another nurse starts to try and basically says, "Screw it, there's no time for this, we need to get you to labor and delivery" and wheel me out down the hall. Now mind you, this whole time I'm like swearing and moaning and just kept asking where my epidural was. Things were getting ugly.

3:15 am - I am in the delivery room, basically screaming. There are a thousand people all around me, running to and fro, setting up, calling the doctor, and at one point I realize, through the fog, that I will not be getting an epidural. I keep asking for one, how come it's not here yet, and no one really answers. I was one of those poor souls for which it was "too late". The pain gets worse.

3:16 am - Pain and suffering.

3:18 am - Pain and suffering.

3:20 am - I'm still screaming and writhing on the table and this feels like it is going on for an eternity. I vaguely recall yelling things like, "Do something! Please!" and "I can't do this! I can't! I can't!" "Tell me what to do! I can't breathe!" I am freaking out to such an extent that one of the nurses, in the nicest way possible, tells me to get ahold of myself. Looking back, I was just so unprepared to handle the pain, I didn't know how to breathe properly or relax my body because a natural birth was never in my plan. It was like an exorcism, I swear. I start to get sick because of the pain. The force of getting sick causes my water to break. Probably the grossest feeling imaginable. Ever seen an elephant pee at the zoo? Like that much warm fluid, gushing everywhere.

3:22 am - I feel the uncontrollable urge to push - most everyone is set up (this is not a calm environment!) and the doctor is ready.

3:24 am - I'm still a disaster. To their credit, the entire time, the nurses have been really encouraging, "You can do this", "you're doing great", etc etc. The doctor tells me to be calm and that I'm going to have this baby on the next push. Honestly, those words save me. I had no idea it was almost over as I could not focus on anything. 

3:26 am - I push again, we run into a serious snag. The cord is wrapped around the baby's neck, so I actually have to try and be still/stop pushing while she clamps and cuts it free. That was a scary moment and one I remember vividly as everyone spoke deliberately and hurriedly in such an intense environment.

3:29 am - one final push and the baby is born. They tell me to look down and I finally open my eyes. The first thing I see as it comes out is a scrotum. I think I said, "Oh, it's a boy" in a daze.

Due to the cord and the speed and sheer force under which he comes out, he has trouble breathing in the beginning and needs oxygen. But I eventually hear him cry and his second Apgar score is a 9. We have another son.

I honestly can't believe how fast it all happened, and how much it hurt. I feel a little embarrassed at how I handled the whole thing but in the moment, I was basically about to float outside my body and never come back. It was really traumatizing :( Alex was totally worth it, but wow. A nurse told me the next day that if I ever had another (the idea of which renders me speechless), they would never let me wait to go into labor naturally - I'd be induced well in advance of my due date. I guess I'm the kind that gives birth by the side of the road after not making it to the hospital on time. 

Writing this all out still makes me shake my head and go "what happened??" Soooo different than labor and delivery with Ashton, which was much less violent haha. The whole thing was less than two hours but a hundred times more intense. I never imagined I'd have to give birth without drugs and it's something I would never want to do again.

Anyway, here I am four days later and obviously still physically recovering. Will be for awhile. Alex is the sweetest of the sweet and I will try and post some more pictures in the next couple days. Thanks for sharing this incredible journey to two kids with me :) xox

Alex's First Day

Just a quick post- our newest Nill is officially named Alexander Michael! Michael is Jason's middle name and a family name on my side as well. We decided we liked the idea of both our boys having "A" names and after a little debate, our new baby was given his identity :) oh and he measured in at 20 inches long. Alex had a great first day and is as sweet as sweet can be. He has blond hair and huge feet! We had visitors all day and Jason just left to go home to sleep. Ashton's first meeting of our new little family member went well for the most part, except when he clocked him on the head with his toy truck. Ahhh brotherly love.

Anyway, Alex is down the hall in the nursery and I'm in the hospital room all alone- not the best :-/ but I'm going to try and get some sleep because fingers crossed we are going home tomorrow! More to come of course, thanks for all the well wishes and love!!






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It's a BOY!!

He's here! We haven't decided on a name yet but gosh did this guy come into the world fast! Whole story to come, but no epidural for me, three pushes, glad we got to the hospital when we did...that kind of story!!

7 lbs 3 oz born 3:29 am.

We haven't sent any real texts yet as it's so early so apologies to anyone who finds out here before we can tell them ourselves. Really just didn't want to wake you!!






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A lot of detail for no reason at all

At the end of this post, you'll realize things are no different than they were at the end of the previous post, but you just can't make this stuff up. Thought I'd share my adventures over the last 36 hours. Oh, but still no baby, don't worry.

Yesterday morning, Thursday. I woke up and was making Ashton's breakfast before our speech therapist arrived at 8:15 am. All of a sudden...ummm!!! Did my water just break?? OMG! It never broke with Ashton and I was frozen to the spot. What should I do? A few thoughts crossed my mind, one in particular: when I was in labor with Ashton and arriving at the hospital, I met a girl who was on her way out as I was on my way in. She wished me luck and announced she was doing the walk of shame home. You see, she thought her water had broken and showed up to have her baby but, in reality, she had merely peed her pants. There are so many indignities in pregnancy and this story has always haunted me. How embarrassing! And to not know the difference!

So there I stood in my kitchen. Hmmm. Hmmmmm. My water? Or pee? I pondered, waited and eventually went to work. But it nagged me and I called my OB's office at lunchtime. I said, "I really don't know if my water broke, but if I'm leaking amniotic fluid, it would be good to know." They absolutely agreed and told me to come in. I saw a male OB who I didn't really know, but it was a quick test. Let's just say, I was not leaking amniotic fluid.

But something bigger arose and he was concerned about the baby's heart rate, which should be anywhere between 110-160. Baby Nill's was holding steady around 105. He sent me to Maternal Fetal Medicine at the other side of the hospital for a non-stress test. They are easy - you sit in a comfy chair with your feet up and have a monitor on your belly. A machine spits out a nice line of fetal activity on a piece of paper.

I sat there for about 45 minutes and in that time frame, had three very nice, strong contractions. The nurse in charge claimed I was going into labor. I said, "Trust me, I really don't think so." But she insisted on sending me up to maternity to be admitted (after agreeing the heart rate was a bit low, but very consistent with nice accelerations and tolerated the contractions just fine). So, up I went, registered, got a bracelet, the whole thing. They hooked me up to ANOTHER fetal monitor, at which point my actual OB came in. We chatted, I said, "I'm not in labor" and she agreed. "But I'm not worried about the low baseline. You can walk around for a couple hours and then I can check you again, or..." "I can go home?" and she said, "Yes. But I can put you on the list to be induced on Monday - would you want that?"

"YES."

So off I went, the only difference after two hours being that instead of wondering if I had suffered the same embarrassment as the girl from 2.5 years ago, I knew I had. At least I was at my own house. Although now that I'm announcing it on my blog I might as well have been in the most public place imaginable.

I spent the rest of yesterday and this morning (Friday) planning to be induced on Monday now. Until around 11:00 am today, when the scheduler called and said, "I know Dr. Konig put you down for an induction on Monday but..." and I held my breath. "Sorry honey, no way jose - we have too many people already." Come on! I was getting bumped again and she actually said No way jose? So I got scheduled for a routine ultrasound to check the fluid levels in addition to the regular appointment on Monday I already had.

Anyway, so that was that until about 6:00 pm tonight. We had just gotten back from a walk around the block and my phone rang. It was the same doctor who had tested for amniotic fluid, or uh, lack thereof. He said, "I'm sorry, but I'd really like you to come in for another non-stress test, preferably as soon as possible. I just wasn't happy with the results from yesterday. If I feel the same way after this one, I won't have you wait until Monday to be seen, I'll induce you tomorrow..." I was shocked and really surprised - if my actual OB wasn't worried yesterday, why was this doctor now following up with me? But of course, I went right away. Luckily Jason was not working and could stay home with Ashton. I arrived, re-registered, got another bracelet, did the non-stress test. The doctor came out and said, "Well this all looks perfect. Beautiful in fact...but...gosh, you know I hate to have you do this, but I'm going to ask you to come back in on Sunday for another one, just because of the results of your ultrasound." I said, "What ultrasound?" and he said, "The one you had yesterday?" And I told him I hadn't had an ultrasound since 18 weeks. At this point he was looking very confused and showed the nurse the correspondence that had been left for him. It said, "Please check in with Kristen Nill over the weekend due to x, y, and z...she needs a followup." Well, turns out, I wasn't the one they were looking for. Which is great, but I said, "I hope you figure out who DOES need the additional testing!" And he apologized for scaring me and all of that. I was relieved that the mistake was innocent as far as I was concerned, and that Baby Nill was fine. Then it occurred to me: "Sooo, I'm NOT going to be induced tomorrow." And he said, "Sorry, no. You are free to go - Dr. Konig will see you Monday as scheduled."

I walked out in a daze. This week, it's been four days of goodbyes and then next morning "Hello again, still here"s at work, three possible inductions, two non-stress tests, two different hospital bracelets, two days past my due date, one flood in my pants and...zero baby. Not to mention every time something happens I have to update several people, only to have to update them again when it turns out to be nothing. Perhaps I should change my approach there; good thing I have unlimited texting. But I'm exhausted and actually sick of myself at this point.

So Jason and I decided that today was my last day at work, no matter what. The back and forth is killing me, I'm at a good stopping point with a great replacement who is ready to start immediately. This baby could be another few/several/many days but I'm not going to think about that. I'll spend some extra time with Ashton, walk more, and keep waiting. See? I told you this post would leave off exactly where the other one did, with an appointment on Monday. But what kind of blogger would I be if I didn't tell you the whole story? Bye for now...

Bumped

Well, Newton-Wellesley Hospital made my decision for me. I got bumped for the induction tomorrow due to them having too many others scheduled that were considered medically necessary (mine was the only one classified as elective). I'm taking it as a sign and was perfectly ok with the news. She said, "For what it's worth, I studied your chart and it looks great- you could go any day! Like any minute!" Ha.ha.ha.ha.ha :) We all know better.

And so, my next appointment is Monday and unless this baby comes on it's own, I won't be updating until after that. So begins life post due date!

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Due Date

Dear Baby Nill #2,

Today is your due date. I have to admit, I did not expect to see March 12 and still be pregnant. I guess that's what I get for interpreting the information my OB and the nurses gave me as "you'll be early!". I should know better than that. And then after last Thursday's false alarm...well, you've been setting expectations since 36-37 weeks and I just didn't know what was going to happen. Clearly, nothing before today at least. We rode a big wave of hype last weekend and then, you stayed in.

So now I am on the list to be induced tomorrow. They could always call me today at some point to bump me, but if they tell me to show up at 8:30 am ready to go, will I do it? I was up all night last night debating. Your dad has some big work commitments coming up and I'm not going to lie, it would be easier if you were here by this weekend. An induction would also make it easier to plan for Ashton and family visits and just about everything really. But I keep going back to the fact that you are still due just today, and although it would be nice to meet you and say goodbye to pregnancy discomfort, is this about me and what I want? Not really. Can I have my first act as your mom be to force you out? I'm not a landlord with a tenant who is behind on their rent! You are perfectly entitled to take another week (at which point, though, I would be much more willing to induce) and you are certainly not the first baby in history to keep people waiting. We'll survive. But oh, the convenience of knowing you could be here tomorrow...

Every morning I wake up and think, Ok, if today is the day, this is how the schedule with Ashton and the visits and family coordination will play out. And every morning, there's a solution. The difference between the past 10 days and the future 10 days lies, as I mentioned, with your dad's schedule. He wants to be there as much as possible for me and for you and it's going to get more complicated as the days tick on and you aren't here.

And so, I still don't know what to do. Can you please just come out on your own? And I can be one of those moms that says, "I was scheduled to be induced and then went into labor the night before!". Your room is all ready, your clothes are washed, your carseat is set, and we are pretty sure what we will name you. You hang out with your brother all the time:

And we already love you to bits, no matter when you decide to come. But perhaps you could think about starting the trip :)

xoxox
Mom

March 12, 2014 - 40 weeks

And nowwww it's Monday

Another day, another update! I had my OB appointment this morning and there is no change in "conditions" since last week. The important thing is that the baby is fine, happy, and very content up in there. But out here, the wait has become...well, a wait. We had a very long weekend of waiting.

So, the basics. I'm due Wednesday, and they put me on the schedule to be induced on Thursday. The receptionist told me to expect a call Wednesday night with either a) what time to show up on Thursday or b) the news that I have been bumped because they were too busy with other medically necessary ones (vs. my elective one). The (b) scenario is pretty likely, it seemed. And if that happens, I show up next Monday for my same weekly appointment and go from there. Unless of course, I go into labor at some point on my own.

That's about all I have for you. I'm still working, and plan to until I have the baby, so at least I'm not sitting around watching the clock tick. After swallowing my disappointment in the form of a very large doughnut after my OB, I decided to go about my day like usual and look at the bright side. At least I can watch the season finale of the Bachelor tonight :) So much for second babies being earlier, faster, etc!

Sunday Update

Wellllll I have no updates! No baby yet. At my OB appointment last week she said she expected end of the week/this weekend but I always take those estimations with a grain of salt. Still three days from my due date and the baby is going to do what it feels like. My next appointment is tomorrow and it will be interesting to see if she mentions an induction. For now, just enjoying the weekend and relaxing- I'm having a fine time!

Ashton has picked up a new skill though. I've been waiting on this for a really long time. Rolled over to check the monitor this morning and:

No one home. I jolted awake, ran into his room and there he was playing with his tools at the tool bench. His tool bench  that is OUTSIDE of his crib. He said, "Hi Mommy! Ashton has hammmmmer!" 

How long it had been since his escape I'm not sure, but it's a milestone we have finally reached.  I think Ashton saw that this weekend wasnt adding up to much and decided to contribute some excitement. It's true; Jason just lamented the fact that his biggest decision today is what to have for breakfast. He's having some trouble. Maybe things will change and he'll go from picking eggs or a bagel to something much more substantial. Like a baby name. Never know...

Babywatch 2014

Well, it officially feels as though the entire world is waiting on me to have this baby. I made a catastrophic mistake yesterday morning too which beyond exacerbated the problem. Allow me to tell you what happened.

I woke up at 2:34 am, middle of Wednesday night, with contractions. Like, bad ones. The kind that made me go, "Oh my GOD I forgot how much these hurt!!" and the kind you can't even talk through. In the dark, I downloaded a contraction app (the same one I used for Ashton, it was just sitting there for me in the iCloud, isn't Apple so smart) and started timing. For an hour, they were 9 minutes apart and lasted for two minutes each. I thought, oh my gosh, is this it? This is it! As much as I wanted to wake Jason up, I didn't because there was nothing he could have done to help me. Annoying but true. Us pregnant women walk the line of pain alone. At least until the doctor administers the epidural. Anyway! At some point, the pain leveled out to a dull level 3 and I fell into a half-sleep for a couple hours. When I woke up at 6:30 am, I was still uncomfortable and could feel that something was going on so I texted my mom that I was almost positive today was the day, emailed my work that I thought I was in labor, got Jason up and prepared to pack my bag for the hospital (no, I had not done that yet). It was about 10 minutes after that that everything came to a screeching halt. And I mean screeching. Pain and contractions one second, no pain and no contractions the next. Hmmm.

Ashton has speech therapy on Thursday mornings and I had Allison come and go like normal. Chera picked Ashton up and it was 9:30 am and I looked at Jason and said "Welp, I guess we should go to work. No sense sitting around here all day! I'll call you if anything changes..." and well, readers, since then - nothing has changed. Except that I have had to explain myself to every person I see at Bentley over the last two days because they had all heard the rumor that I was in labor yesterday morning. To all the pregnant women out there: take it from me, read up on the differences between pre-labor and actual labor and really determine what you are experiencing BEFORE you announce to everyone that your baby is on its way.

While we wait, we are still thinking about names. And by we, I mean Jason. He is obsessed. He takes the baby name book with him to work and finds these obscure websites that promise to generate a perfect middle name based on what you enter for a first and last. He even writes names on post its and rearranges them on the coffee table like they are little game pieces. Last night I was too tired to care and told him flat out I didn't think we were going to come up with any new ones so late in the game. Lo and behold, he did! It was like finding a piece of gold in a river that you have already raked a thousand times. It went straight to the top of our (girl) list and then, like any true treasure hunter, we were inspired to keep going and find that same eureka moment for the boy list (I have had my favorite for a while but he is not sold on it). Anyway, hopefully when everyone hears our new son or daughter's name they will think it is absolutely perfect and I will give all the credit to Jason and his hard name-finding work :)

I have had a lot of people ask me if Ashton has any idea what is coming. The short answer is, "Um, absolutely not." Sure, he can parrot back to us that he's going to be a big brother but there is no way he knows what that really means. And I do feel a little...guilty? At the fact that I'm about to make him share his mom. Wistful? At these last few nights where it's just him and I. Scared? That he is going to act out and turn into a little monster. Lots of different emotions going on really.

Things have wrapped up at work and I am officially leaving each day like I will not be back. I have a wonderful temp replacing me for the next three months (and then hopefully I'll be back two days a week from June-Sept before resuming full time). I just trained her this morning. Luckily, she is flexible - I told her I plan to work until I go into labor, so her first day could be Monday or a week from Monday and she is fine with it.

So, all the pieces are in place, we have a couple different plans for Ashton depending on what day and what time this all goes down, and for now we are just waiting. Still 5 days from my due date but since everyone else is so darned antsy I plan to have spicy buffalo chicken for dinner ;) Stay tuned!

Before and After: Nursery for the next new Nill

I can't say that we are totally "ready" for this next baby, but at least the nursery is! There are two main things left to achieve in this room - first, as it used to be our office, it is the only room in the house that is set up for our phone line and wi-fi router. Currently, all the wiring and blinking lights are hanging out under the crib, but I definitely plan on moving them before the baby sleeps in there full time (probably May or so). Second, I should probably take the packaging off the lamp haha.

But here we go! I believe I mentioned we have three bedrooms and then this office upstairs. It is, uh, teeny. Like, 7 feet x 8 feet. But we weren't ready to give up our (also teeny) third bedroom so we decided to be creative. 

I would be lying if I said I wasn't starting to hyperventilate a little bit when Jason was building our new master closet. The room fast became a dumping ground and looked like this:

Immediately to the right, we had a corner desk that housed more junk:

This room and its messiness was giving me hives so I was grateful for a chance to turn it around. 

I'm proud to say it now looks like this:

Here's the before on the desk wall:

And the after:

We got a little mini crib (thanks Kari!) because Ashton's not out of his yet, nor do I want to rush him, and also now that everything else is in there, not sure it will fit that well. I need to get a crib skirt, you'll see the wires I mentioned underneath. Anyway, I made the paper flag bunting myself, and also did a frame wall over the chair using free printables I found online:

One of my favorite things about the room is the hutch. I found it (and the glider chair) on Craigslist. We positioned it in front of the door that leads up to the attic (it's a full walkup) and it is everything we need it to be in just one piece of furniture. Did I mention this room is teeny? :)

The bassinet will go in our room for the first 6-8 weeks until we are ready to move the baby in here full-time.

Anyway, considering we did not change the existing paint color (Palladian Blue by Benjamin Moore) and I managed to find a rug, chair, etc. and tie it all together, I was very happy. Overall there is no theme considering we don't know the sex; this fact has gone from being minorly to majorly annoying as I've tried to get ready for this baby's arrival. But colors are basically aqua, yellow and gray.

And that's it for our office-turned-nursery! Still 9 days from my due date, I've had a few contractions but nothing to shake a stick at. I've had a pretty bad cold for the past week and am feeling drained - I am hoping this baby knows to wait until I am back up to snuff before deciding to put me through what I know is coming! To be continued...