Lego-gate

I didn't think it could happen but it has. We are experiencing market saturation with Pete the elf and he is losing his effect.

On Monday afternoon, I let the boys play in my room with their Legos while I got ready for Jason's employee holiday party. They scattered the pieces everywhere, I mean threw them all over the place. Because I was desperate for 5 minutes to do my hair, I allowed it but repeatedly warned them that pretty soon it was going to be time to clean up.

When that time came, I said, "Ok! Let's pick all this up! Get the bucket, start scooping..." Ashton hemmed and hawed and let's just say, over the course of 15 minutes, I asked him multiple times. Then I started to threaten.
"If you don't pick up your Legos, ________________". Blank was anywhere from "I won't put a show on" to "no snack" to "you won't be able to play Legos anymore" to "I'll tell Pete" and eventually "I'LL TELL SANTA MYSELF!"

Nothing. Not even an attempt. I dropped Pete's name like ten times too. I started to help Alex because he was really trying (we're talking a thousand pieces here) and Ashton just sat and stared. After another several minutes, I finally started to yell and sent him to his room. I stomped downstairs and loudly said "PETE! Wait until I tell you what just happened!" and then grabbed his little elf body, shoved him in the cabinet out of sight and went back upstairs. I flung open Ashton's door, more upset than he was, and said "Well! I hope you're happy! Pete just left and I'm not even sure if he's going to come back!"

At that point Ashton started to cry. YES, finally! I was getting through! [I mean, not that I LIKE when my kid cries! But the balance of power was so clearly off track in this situation that something needed to give!] I left Ashton in his room and when Alex and I had about three pieces left, Ashton poked his head in, wiped his tears and said he was ready to help. I said that would be great, thank you, and life was back in harmony.

But then a curious thing happened. Jen arrived, and I casually whispered to her to ask Ashton where Pete had gone. She did, and Ashton made up a story that was completely not what had happened, a story that of course placed no blame on him whatsoever. And then a little later on, her boyfriend Mike asked the same thing, and Ashton said it was because of Alex!

You can probably guess: Pete did not come back the next day, which was yesterday. I told the boys Pete was very upset by what had happened and Santa probably hadn't decided what to do about it yet.

I did also tell Jason to ask Ashton what had happened to Pete, because Jason was at work when this all had gone down. Ashton's answer was "Oh, Daddy! I don't remember."

&#(!@#$%^&**@%&!!!

So there we were, Pete was gone and Ashton seemed unfazed, despite my repeated overdramatic reminders that the Christmas situation was now dire. Truly jeopardized! Like coal-in-your-stocking, no-presents-at all danger.  All I wanted him to do was admit that Pete was gone because he didn't pick up his Legos. But even when I pressed him, he would not. *#&$(&%~!

I know defeat when I see it and this was definitely that. Pete came back out after the boys went to bed. Sigh.

But then...this morning the boys came running in to our room when they woke up, asking if Pete had returned. I said I wasn't sure. I told them Santa had called me last night (at which point Ashton's eyes went as wide as dinner plates) and Santa said he was very upset that Ashton had not helped to pick up his Legos. I said, "Ashton, Jen, Mike and Daddy might not know the real reason Pete left, but Santa does." Ashton looked down at his hands and said, "I know Mommy. It was because of me." And then, very resolutely, "It will not happen again. Santa really called? Yes he must know. I'm sorry."

Sometimes you gotta bring in the big guns. My next strategy was to actually have my boss call him and pretend to be Santa, but at the moment there is no need (still 4 days to go though- keeping that in my back pocket). For now, Christmas is back on!