Friday thoughts

This post, as I start to write it, has no clear theme. It will basically be just some random content that has materialized over the last couple of weeks.

First, I have to address the video of Alex from the last post. I got several concerned comments! Please know that if Ashton isn't being the bad guy, Alex is, and Alex bites, so look out. The bottom line is two-fold: they are just brothers, plain and simple, and not only that, they are brothers under the age of 5 which means their little brains have no concept of anything besides themselves. They don't get sharing, they don't get "be gentle". They only understand "ME". Ashton is of course more in tune with how his actions may affect others, but it doesn't usually stop him when it comes to Alex. These boys steal from each other, hit each other, the works. Jason and I talk to them, try to reason with them, sometimes yell at them, sigh. I am reading Siblings Without Rivalry. All this is to say though, while situations like that video do exist, more often than not they play and laugh. They both have pretty high rebound rates anyway. After the "steal", Alex came over to me and I gave him a big hug, wiped his tears, and he ran back for more :)

Secondly, we are surviving the winter just fine so far (knock on wood!!). Having accumulated less than 8 inches of snow helps immensely. The one snowstorm we did get was an excuse to use the shovels ;)

Although a closer look at Alex...

HAHA. He could barely move I bundled him up so much.

Just putting on boots and stomping around in the leftover snowbanks and mud puddles has been quite sufficient since then. March 13 is not that far away (clocks spring forward!), but we are definitely already seeing longer days. Even though jackets are required, we still scooter and hit the playground!

Being outside after work when it isn't pitch dark has been heaven. What is ALSO heaven is this little indoor spray park in Norwood. Honestly, the most random spot. It's a kid's splash pad, but it's in a gym, but you don't have to be a member. I found out about it on the Natick Mom's facebook group (which by the way, is the best resource probably ever. Best place for kids haircuts, electrician recommendations, summer camp feedback, school registration info, road closures, birthday party spots, town events and the list goes ON, but all specific to Natick- the community of moms is amazing). Anyway I saw someone mention Ships Ahoy in the Rama Athletic Club as a "beat the winter blues" idea. I could not get the boys into their swimsuits fast enough. It was $10 per kid, I brought some buckets and toys, the water was warm, and there was a parent sitting area. The boys were in their glory which meant so was I.

Talk about a hidden gem! We will definitely be going back.

Lastly, I've been marinating all week on the idea of selling LulaRoe. You probably haven't heard of it - it's a new clothing line only sold through consultants and their leggings are completely awesome. Super soft and REALLY fun prints. Like bye-bye boring black. They sell for $25 at parties and pop-up shops but are very popular on eBay. My hairdresser sells them and is obsessed, as most sales consultants tend to be. She's all over Facebook about it and on the one hand, selling them where I work, at a university, would be like shooting fish in a barrel. But on the other, it's a multi-level-marketing thing, a pyramid scheme, and after learning more I'm just not going there. I know a lot of people that sell a lot of things as a direct sales consultant and the strategies are not for me. That being said, if you need a color statement this winter, try and get a pair of these leggings. I have zero stock whatsoever in these, so check out eBay maybe. Unless you have a consultant near you which, I have no idea if you do haha. They are OS (one size - fits all), and they even have a TC (tall and curvy) size. I am definitely a customer. If you decide you are the direct sales type, you might check them out as a possibility. Anyway just sharing my latest and greatest fashion find :)

Have a great weekend all!

Ashtonisms

Ahhhhh Ashton. Our curious, enthusiastic 4 year old who talks ALL.THE.TIME. I mean I get it, I'm a blogger, there is lots to say! But lately he's been a treasure trove of gems. Perhaps Jason and I are the only ones who would consider them to be priceless, but I'll share some of the latest and greatest and you can be the judge.

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Overheard saying to Jason: "When I grow up, I can be a daddy. And when you grow down, you can be a boy."

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After loudly clearing his throat, he announced "Don't worry! I'm just starting my engine."

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Ashton's big boy bed is the worst thing to ever happen to me, even 1.5 years later. I put him to bed and on average, I have to re-tuck him back in 1-3 times before it sticks.
Me: "Ok, it's really time to fall asleep!"
Ashton: "But Mommy, it's so hard to close my eyes, they just want to pop back open!"

***
While we are on him getting out of bed, here are a few of the reasons he is up in the middle of the night and comes in to our room:
- He would like more pizza.
- His knee feels sharp.
- Could I please share the details of his next birthday party and when is it?
- He can't find his pillow (even though, it was right there).
- His ______ [insert any body part] is itchy.
- There's a hole in his tongue.
- If he were to go fishing, is it easy to catch a killer whale? Would it eat him? No? They just like fish? Why are they called killers then?
- He picked a scab off his knuckle and wanted to ask me why he did that.
- His blankets are out of order.
- He has a hangnail.
- There was some concern about bad seagulls flying around.
- He wasn't sure where he had left Lightning McQueen.
- Someone is going "tap tap tap" on his head.
- Someone is whispering Asssshhhhttttooonnnnnn.

Now admittedly, those last two...

Kids have active imaginations but can also say downright creepy things. Seriously, google "creepy things kids say" and there are LOTS of results. Actually I'll save you the trouble. Try this, this and this. I had a hard time falling back asleep after those particular claims.

Also, just last night: I had tucked Ashton into bed after going through the usual routine of shutting his closet doors, checking under the bed, assuring him the windows were locked, etc. (he is insistent every night that I make sure no one comes into his room). Everything was nice and neat, I kissed him goodnight and went downstairs.
Five minutes later, he was up and fetching me. He said, "I have to show you something." And led me back to his dark room, where the closet doors were wide open and the pile of books that had been on the side table were strewn across the floor. He proceeded to tell me, in between gasps for air and stutters, how something came out of the closet and knocked all of his books everywhere! He was so upset, waving his arms all around, so I clarified: "Something came out of your closet and did this?" And he said "YES! I was just lying in my bed Mommy!" "Really?" "YES!" My blood ran cold, I am not even kidding. There was a significant moment of silence. I looked at him again and said, "You're kidding Ashton. Really?"
And his expression completely changed and a wide grin spread across his face.

"No, Mommy, not really. I did it."

I nearly had a heart attack. 

***

After school one day he said, "Hey Mommy, I love myself just the way I am." I said "Well that's great honey. I love you just the way you are too!" And then he said, "Yeah, I learned that at yoga today. Mommy, you know what, you can just say that to yourself sometimes when you are driving in the car! Practice right now! Say: 'I love myself just the way I am.'" And I did and he told me he was proud of me. He then randomly repeated it at dinner and in the bathtub. That's some strong pre-k yoga going on.

***
Looking through the photo album of our wedding: "These pictures are beautiful. Where is me? I don't see me."
"Well, you were not born yet."
"So? I want to be in these pictures! How do you get in them?"

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After having a bad dream: "I don't like thinking when I sleep!"

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"Did you know that when grapes die they become raisins? Yep they do! That's what happens."

***

He needed to use the nebulizer (which we call a tube), which is a mask over his mouth. "I can't do a tube because I am having a snack and I need my face to eat."

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"Mommy I'm not a baby like Alex. I don't poop in diapers anymore because I'm a BIG boy. Yeah, I growed up."

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"I found a skeleton head!" (He meant a skull - and it wasn't, but I played along.)

***

"Mommy I love you, to the top of daddy's head! No no, to the top of a TOWER!"

"Wow. Well I love you to the moon!"

"Ooooo! Thanks!! But I love you to the SUN! AND to the top of the sky!"

***
"I have lots of kisses and they are all for you."

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"What are you going to do with those boobs Mommy?"

"Uh, what do you mean?"
"I mean, why do you still have them when you don't have a baby?"

***
Overall, Ashton can be a very sweet big brother. He can also be a very mean one - he has secret toy stashes that he guards fiercely and, in the presence of his father, will do just about anything to "win". Doesn't it look like he is doing a victory dance? Congrats Ashton, it's super hard to steal a football from a 22 month old. Sigh. Never a dull moment!

Before and After: Switching out those, er, switches!

It's been nearly 4 (!!!) months since we moved into our new house. Projects abound and while several things are in progress, nothing can actually be considered "done". We are a family of list-checker-offers so this is really annoying. I guess we did get an exterior door cut to turn the sunroom into a mudroom, but I'm not going to post about that yet because the mudroom as a whole is incomplete. Right now Jason is building out the benches and as of yesterday, things look like this.

Which means our foyer looks like this.

Due to all the junk that we used to hide in the sunroom but now we can't because it's becoming a mudroom. See how that works.

When Kari and Ben came to visit when we first moved. Ben taught Jason how to change light switches and outlets. Some of the existing fixtures were yellowed, the outlet plates were cracked, and the style was very basic. And we are not basic! No, we are not. I wanted dimmers! And wide toggles! And illumination when it is dark! And those outlets that have a USB port built in! All of those exclamatory features. I was willing to work for it too.

HAHA just kidding that is totally staged. Jason let me snap on one cover of one outlet and that was it.

But now, 90% of the switches and outlets in our house have been upgraded. We have one-ways, two-ways, three-ways, dimmers, backlit switches, decorative plates, the works!

The outlets have gotten a refresher as well.

Our house is very amply wired. There are outlets and switches all over the place so this was no small job. I'll tell you what also won't be a small job: the door hardware. Because, this:

The hinges don't match the locking piece that don't match the front doorknob that don't match the back doorknob. Pretty much everywhere. Also, because some of our house is new, the hardware is new. Because some of our house is old, well, it's like this post of yore. I really don't want to spray paint again. The point is that the doors and knobs are messy and I don't like messy. This is on my master project list and it is not even close to being checked off. Things just take awhile, especially when you have two full time working parents and two kids. Also when your list is 7 pages long and includes small things like "Complete Kitchen Renovation" and "Re-do downstairs bathroom - full gut to install glass shower instead of tub". 

Anyway, I've been wanting to post some sort of evidence that we are working on our house projects... voila! I'm not far from sharing our new photo wall, and shortly after that...our new mudroom...see you soon!

All Rise

This is a court of law, young man, not a court of justice. ~Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

There was another post that was next in my queue, but I had jury duty last week and feel the need to talk about it. On Thursday morning at 8 am I reported to the Waltham District Court, wondering whether I would have a say in someone's future. In 2006 I served on a jury that, after 10 days of testimony, acquitted a first-degree murderer. It was a Dorchester shooting, the kids were on bikes for christ's sake. As jurors we were taken by motorcade to the neighborhood, walked around, shown pictures, etc. It was an incredibly real experience, for lack of a better way to describe it. The witnesses, the bloody clothes, the full courtroom when we read the verdict. The truth, according to me, was that he did it. There was simply no one else that could have fired the shot. But the defendant, a boy who had been in prison for two years awaiting trial, was innocent until proven guilty, and the prosecutor could not do it. There were too many holes in the story, too many unanswered questions. It was clear when we read the verdict (amidst the cries and angry shouts of the victim's family), the DA was shocked. It was his case to lose and for us, the jury, reasonable doubt of his guilt remained.

The boy went free. I cried and cried. He had killed someone else, but looking at his case through the lens of our justice system and its rules, he was free. We were told that as a jury, our decision is always the right one. Even so, it felt awful and I've never forgotten it.

I was not summoned again until now. Last Thursday was sunny and we sat in a nice room all morning. Most people dread jury duty, but show me a place where I can sit in peace, drink coffee and read quietly without kids yapping at my feet for an extended period of time, and I'll show you a happy Kristen. (Although, this was my book. My mom hat is, annoyingly, never fully off.)

I suspect jury duty gets a bad rap because most people don't see anything as a result of their waiting. They just get dismissed after a long day. Anyone that ends up serving on a jury though, I guarantee you the experience changes their tune.

So last Thursday they impaneled a jury for an assault and battery case (in conjunction with malicious destruction of property under $250) around 3 pm. The wait until then was, admittedly, long. I was the first one picked and took my seat. Opening statements described a scene a year and a half ago, where, after being broken up with over many things, the boyfriend pulled a knife on himself and begged the girlfriend to just push it into him, end his life, he was ruined without her. At one point he grabbed her face, threw things, etc. A general rage about the relationship being called off (except by the way, he had told her he was seeing someone else, and that someone else turned out to be in the courtroom the entire time!).

After he left the scene, there were hundreds of texts between the two of them. The transcript was an inch thick and she, the girlfriend, eventually stopped responding. He called her every nasty name in the book when he wasn't begging her to take him back. He had gone ballistic.

Both the girlfriend and the boyfriend testified, along with the police officer who had written up the incident when the girlfriend reported it as domestic violence the next day. Everything the girlfriend said, the boyfriend denied. It was essentially a bad breakup of a couple in their 20s who brought out the worst in each other.

When we went into deliberations at the end of the day Friday, we (the jury) knew two things to be certain: that we believed her, but that no crime had been committed. It sucked. Applying the conditions of the charge the judge had outlined, and the fact that there was no evidence, an assault and battery conviction just didn't fit and we couldn't do it. We did find him guilty of ruining some of her stuff - he basically admitted to it in the text messages later on so that was much more black and white. But there was nothing to corroborate the girlfriend's claims. No photo of the knife (pictures had been taken of her damaged property), no bruising or bodily harm. Surprisingly that does not need to be present for an assault and battery conviction, but her allegations were vehemently denied by the boyfriend when he took the stand. We felt stymied.

Oh I forgot to mention. The girlfriend? She swam in the 2004 Olympics in Athens. And she won a gold medal. Knowing also that she is currently training for Rio for this summer's games, I felt like we were in the presence of greatness and here she was, just another girl in a bad relationship. I could not even look at her on the way out of the courtroom after we read the verdicts. I wanted to say, "I believe you! He did lie about X and he did call you Y, but unfortunately that is not a crime in the eyes of the law :( ". It was so, so hard.

What makes it actually harder is that there is no closure or debriefing when it is over. Deliberating with your fellow jurors helps process it all, but for me, last Friday night at 5:30 pm when they opened the courthouse doors and said, "Good night jurors! Thanks for serving, see you in 3 years!" I felt a little shell shocked. Having spent just 2 days with the other 6 jurors, I felt very close to them. We had made this huge decision affecting the lives of two people (albeit quite differently) and, like, that was it! They walked off, I walked off, c'est fini.

People whine, complain and try to weasel their way out of jury duty service. There's never a good day for it. Of course you have work and kids and a life. But to take a minute because you are being asked to make a judgment on someone else's life, isn't that a privilege and an awesome responsibility? I think so.

Ironically, Jason had jury duty today. He gleefully texted me at 10:30 am that he was out. But just a minute ago he looked over at me writing this post and said, "You know, I am actually a little bummed I got dismissed so early today. I hardly got anything done." As I said, the appeal of a quiet few hours is as great as anything right now, so may the record reflect he could at least appreciate jury duty for that ;)

And on to the New Year...

We had a spectacularly wonderful holiday break. It chugged right along, the perfect amount of visits/visitors, activity, playtime and downtime. We enjoyed lots of general togetherness and it was tough to go back to work this week. Now it's 2016 and looking back...well, this:

My pants are tight, it's suddenly frigid cold, and before us lies the Great Stretch of Nothingness, also known as January, February, and March. We get to scrape ice off our cars, itch our dry pasty skin, bemoan an empty calendar and suffer from innumerable diseases our 4 year old brings home from school (recently lice. He didn't/doesn't have it (yet) but it's there!)

In order to combat the depressing view ahead, let's look back at "the most wonderful time of the year"! Christmas was awesome - it just was. Ashton completely freaked out like I hoped he would and knew he would. Erik and GG were with us on Christmas Eve and the boys obviously wore their special 'jamas.

Truth be told I wanted to have Ashton as the elf and Alex as Santa (because Ashton sometimes needs a reality check about being in charge) but Target's size inventory didn't cooperate.

Christmas (early) morning, family portrait.

It was your usual flurry of wrapping paper everywhere and a lot of "I can't uh-BWEVE (believe) this!"'s from Ashton. Alex was a little timid opening his gifts but of course his older brother was happy to help him out. (Ashton had some difficulty grasping that not everything had his name on it.)

Most of my pictures are blurry. If you've ever seen a kid unwrap a present or if you yourself have done it, you were basically there. For anyone that has not:

Santa was definitely good to the boys. After breakfast, they each chose a favorite new toy (the HotWheels Super 6 Lane Raceway for Ashton, which by the way, turned out to be everything I dreamed it would be, and a little battery-operated Thomas for Alex) and we all headed up to Vermont for Christmas part II! This was the only shot I actually took.

The rest will have to live in our memories. I think I was in a food coma most of those two days: GG made an incredible tenderloin one night, lobster mac and cheese the next night, with cinnamon buns for breakfast and then brunch at Kari's and it was just a glorious calorie-fest. Plus all the cheese. The Vermont cheese. Ooof.

Between Vermont and New Year's, the main highlight was Ashton's peanut challenge, the results which I posted about quickly last time. Yesterday he woke up and said his tummy hurt and that he did not want any more peanut butter. I have been giving him 2 Tbsp a day since the challenge according to the instructions (and he has seemed fine), but like, what am I supposed to do with that information? Ughhh. So I need to call the allergist but my guess is, Sunbutter will prevail. He doesn't *have* to have peanut butter in his life if he doesn't want it. Which it sounds like. (A sip of magical ginger ale cured his tummy. Funny how that happens.)

Jason's whole family came up from the 1st - 3rd as our last hurrah of the holiday break. We ate and laughed and hung out and it was perfect. The first night Berg and Karen and Jayden came for dinner. 8 grown ups, 2 preschoolers, 1 toddler and 1 baby and it was definitely loud! 

Reflecting on "the holidays", the boys were so loved and got some wonderful gifts. We were able to spend time with every member of both of our immediate families, which was really special. I already miss the christmas lights and the warmth that all the decorations brought to our new home. Everything feels so bare.

RIP Christmas tree :(  

Overall, a huge thank you to GG, Poppy and Mema, Grandma and Grandpa for being amazing grandparents, and to my Papa and GG for always thinking of us. Erik, Kari, Ben, Callie, Chris, Lizzie, Owen...we have the best family don't we? This blog better watch out in 2016: I'm going to set the bar high with my first post of the year (uh, second). Stay tuned!