Renewed.

My dad bought me a Healthworks membership to get me through January, February and March. Although the membership was active starting January 1, I have just been too exhausted and overwhelmed by the idea of getting everything together to actually make it there. When was there going to be a good time to go? Ashton pretty much always needs to eat, nap, or be changed - all three of which were not going to happen in the 2 hours it was going to take me to drive over, work out, and get home. But today was the first day I actually suited up, put my running shoes on, got Ashton ready, and went. And a curious thing happened: I LOVED it! And the gym is beautiful! Everything is brand new, it's women only, and I felt 100% comfortable leaving Ashton in the nursery. (Okay, that's a lie. 50% comfortable, but it was all me and nothing to do with the providers. It was a small glimpse of what it would feel like to drop him off at daycare before going to work at a full-time job and I have to say, it made me grateful that I don't have to.) Anyway, they said, "Don't worry, we'll page you if we need you!" and sent me on my way. I'm mainly a treadmill person, so with some trepidation I climbed on...Now, my last good, real run was in November 2010. Yes, you read that right. It was just before my 30th birthday and I was about to find out I was expecting. Despite vowing I would be one of those fantastically fit pregnant women and keep up my exercise routine, it, uh, didn't happen. Ashton made me too uncomfortable to really do anything besides walk. But I digress. So as I was pressing "Start" on the treadmill, a million thoughts ran through my mind: would I run for 5 minutes and collapse in a fit of breathlessness? Would I even get off the ground? Not to mention, because I'm breastfeeding, let's just say my sportsbra was going to have to work overtime. Would it hold??

What happened was, I ran my heart out. At a speed of between 6.5 and 7.0, which was more than I expected I would be able to do. I can't tell you how great the physical exertion felt. After 7 or 8 minutes my chest started to burn a little, but in a good way. In the beginning I told myself, "I'll run for 5 minutes and see how I feel, about both the exercising and about leaving Ashton." At 5 minutes I was doing great. Then I told myself, "Okay, 10 minutes." And then it was 15, 20 and then 25. Then I walked for 15 minutes at an incline and just when I was about to quit, Nicki Minaj came on my iPod and I realized I had to sprint for just this last song because it's Ashton's favorite :) Gosh it just felt so good to run! It erased the dullness I have been feeling and gave me a renewed spirit. I didn't feel like a tired mom, I was exhilarated and revived! I felt energized and strong!

Now let's not be mistaken. I know that this is reality:

But I WILL be the top picture by March! That's my goal.

The icing on the whole experience was when I picked Ashton up and they told me he did great - he didn't cry or fuss, turns out he loved watching all the other babies and toddlers and pretty much just stared at them the whole time. It was a perfect hour for both him and me. Win-win. I can't wait to go tomorrow :)